ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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