...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize