Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
