Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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