PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
