I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
