sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
please come you make the beer taste better
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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