i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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