If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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