my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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