Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
