Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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