have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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