i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
