# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Still dying that you shit outside
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
