turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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