Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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