i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
