We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
