I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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