i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
