Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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