It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
