DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
