What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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