so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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