I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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