What did we do last night that was yellow?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
