Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize