Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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