Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Enjoy the penises
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
