she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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