NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
