God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
