It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
