You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
