she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dick very happy bro
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
