I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize