My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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