an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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