I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
