I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
