the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
