Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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