if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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