I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
