just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
