Non-Jews are for practice
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
