Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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