covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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