Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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