Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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