wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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