So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
