She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You ate ashes out of my bong
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
