I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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